When you care what other people think, you are imprisoned by other people's opinions of you. You cannot do what you want to, because you are paralyzed with fear, and in the long run, you miss out on doing what will make you truly happy. Furthermore, when you go around seeking other people's approval, you turn them off and often you can come across as being fake, or try hard.
Why do you care what other people think?
The reality is, that you care what others think, because you are unsure of who you are, and what you believe. Human beings are evolutionarily designed to respond to people who act with certainty for this reason. The leader does not care what others think, but acts based on his or her own personal standards.
The best book I've ever read on the subject of not caring what other people think, is "Fountainhead" but Ayn Rand. She is a controversial, if not brilliant writer. She goes into detail, on the subject of caring what other people think. She calls these people, "second handers" because they are always defining themselves based on the opinions of other people therefore they can only experience life in a second hand way.
After reading that book I came up with an analogy which works for me. I call people who care what other people think "mirrors" because they are always looking into other people to find their own reflection. Everything a mirror does, is in comparison to other people. A mirror spends time chasing superficial things in order to fake prestige and high value, but the mirror knows that this is not the truth, and is unhappy. This is why I think many rich people are so unhappy.
Symptoms of mirror behavior:
Seeking approval, apologizing too much, asking other people's opinions too much, boasting, and bragging. Mirrors appear to be happy but can never be truly fulfilled, because societal standards are too difficult to live up to.
Mirrors don't know what they really want and cannot be truly happy. When you concern yourself with what other people think, it becomes hard to tell if you want to do something purely because it makes you happy, or because you want to impress other people.
The worst part of caring what other people think, is that while you care about what other people think, they don't even know what they think, or why they think it. Most of what people know is based on unverified information. On some level, they know this. They haven't proven what they believe, therefore, they're not sure how much they believe it.
In fact most people hold many beliefs that contradict each other, and they're never quite sure when to believe one thing over another. Christians believe fornication is bad, yet we all know how much we love sex. We live an a rational society, yet we all get spooked by ghosts when we watch horror movies. We're told "look before you leap", then we're told, "He who hesitates is lost."
Most people are simply following the most confident person in the room. This is why confidence is so important. The truth is, you can get away with just about anything if you do it with enough confidence. A little confidence can change public opinion in an instant. People just assume that if you are confident you must have a good reason to be, and they listen to what you say.
There is absolutely no coincidence that all of our world leaders are considered charismatic. The opposite of caring what other people think, is charisma. I read in, "The Art Of Seduction," that people who had charisma acted with such certainty, and they had such a fire in their eyes, that they were considered to have heard the voice of god. And everyone followed them.
Stop caring what other people think about you. Its simply a trick you've played on yourself, because you aren't sure who you are and what you believe. If you care what other people think, making friends becomes harder and you will lack the ability to make people like and follow you. I have a blog dedicated to making more friends and rising to the top of you social circle, but sure to visit!
Why do you care what other people think?
The reality is, that you care what others think, because you are unsure of who you are, and what you believe. Human beings are evolutionarily designed to respond to people who act with certainty for this reason. The leader does not care what others think, but acts based on his or her own personal standards.
The best book I've ever read on the subject of not caring what other people think, is "Fountainhead" but Ayn Rand. She is a controversial, if not brilliant writer. She goes into detail, on the subject of caring what other people think. She calls these people, "second handers" because they are always defining themselves based on the opinions of other people therefore they can only experience life in a second hand way.
After reading that book I came up with an analogy which works for me. I call people who care what other people think "mirrors" because they are always looking into other people to find their own reflection. Everything a mirror does, is in comparison to other people. A mirror spends time chasing superficial things in order to fake prestige and high value, but the mirror knows that this is not the truth, and is unhappy. This is why I think many rich people are so unhappy.
Symptoms of mirror behavior:
Seeking approval, apologizing too much, asking other people's opinions too much, boasting, and bragging. Mirrors appear to be happy but can never be truly fulfilled, because societal standards are too difficult to live up to.
Mirrors don't know what they really want and cannot be truly happy. When you concern yourself with what other people think, it becomes hard to tell if you want to do something purely because it makes you happy, or because you want to impress other people.
The worst part of caring what other people think, is that while you care about what other people think, they don't even know what they think, or why they think it. Most of what people know is based on unverified information. On some level, they know this. They haven't proven what they believe, therefore, they're not sure how much they believe it.
In fact most people hold many beliefs that contradict each other, and they're never quite sure when to believe one thing over another. Christians believe fornication is bad, yet we all know how much we love sex. We live an a rational society, yet we all get spooked by ghosts when we watch horror movies. We're told "look before you leap", then we're told, "He who hesitates is lost."
Most people are simply following the most confident person in the room. This is why confidence is so important. The truth is, you can get away with just about anything if you do it with enough confidence. A little confidence can change public opinion in an instant. People just assume that if you are confident you must have a good reason to be, and they listen to what you say.
There is absolutely no coincidence that all of our world leaders are considered charismatic. The opposite of caring what other people think, is charisma. I read in, "The Art Of Seduction," that people who had charisma acted with such certainty, and they had such a fire in their eyes, that they were considered to have heard the voice of god. And everyone followed them.
Stop caring what other people think about you. Its simply a trick you've played on yourself, because you aren't sure who you are and what you believe. If you care what other people think, making friends becomes harder and you will lack the ability to make people like and follow you. I have a blog dedicated to making more friends and rising to the top of you social circle, but sure to visit!
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