Minggu, 19 Desember 2010

How To Deal With People Who Annoy You

The world is an interesting place to live in as we have many different personalities on this planet that we call home. However, the downside to this is that inevitably, there would be certain personalities that irritate or annoy us. Annoying people could be all around us and more often than not, we would have to work together with these people. For example, there could be a co-worker in the office that you cannot stand but must work together to achieve a common goal. Having the ability to deal with such people can bring you less stress and more happiness.
The first way to deal with people who we cannot stand is to acknowledge why we are annoyed by the person. We could be annoyed by lots of things, like a person's looks, his actions, his way of dressing, or even his perceptions of things. To deal with annoying people, we must first identify what it is exactly about the person that annoys us. We must accept that we cannot control the thoughts or mannerisms of others. What we can control is how we respond to such people. For example, when we are annoyed by a person's constant burping, we could draw our focus to other things about the person like his dressing. If even his dressing annoys you, you could draw your focus to the things in the environment around you, like the tall building in the backdrop for instance. The key is to draw your focus away from the source of annoyance.
Mahatma Ghandi once said "be the change you want to see in the world". This quote is quite applicable in the context of dealing with annoying people. It is more difficult to change the annoying person than to make a change in ourselves. When people are angry or irrational, any word or action that you make can be interpreted as aggression and trigger even more aggression. Even though it may be tough, the best thing to do in this circumstance is to remain calm and allow them to continue with their tirade. After they have let off some steam, you could perhaps ask them if they would like to discuss the matter at a later time when they have calmed down. If this request leads to even more ranting, simply wait it out and ask them again. Going by the Law of Reciprocity, the ranting person (hopefully!) will feel ashamed or even guilty after their tirade, especially if you are not responding to them. This actually puts you back in control of the entire situation.
Another way to deal with annoying people is to be as clear as possible in any form of communication that you have with them in order to prevent misunderstandings that can make these people annoy you even further. For example, if your annoying co-worker asks you to make 5 copies of a document, repeat this request to him for a second confirmation. This is to make sure that you totally understand what he is saying and prevent any conflicts arising due to the miscommunication of information.

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